Born a Somerset carrot cruncher to a Yorkshire Mum and Dad, so equally comfortable with wassons, get ons, how dos and eh ups. Improvises in London.

After writing plays and stories at primary school, i mirrored an internet shopper by laying down and making great saves as a schoolboy Southampton and Yeovil Town footballer.  Like Michael Jackson, I wore gloves, but also like Michael Jackson i was bad.

Got lost in the travel wilderness, lost weight through spontaneous bouts of food poisoning, but saved boyish face, and a goring, by riding bikes into hedges to escape irked bulls.

Rising from the branches, i’m a copywriter.